- When things are going great and everything is perfectly balanced in our lives, it’s easy to be happy. The true test of happiness comes when things aren’t going the way we’d like them to. When life seems a little hectic, we often have to make a conscious decision to be happy and refuse to let chaos bring us down.
Remember, the only person who can truly control your happiness is you. Here are eight habits of chronically unhappy people. If you identify with any of these points, it might be time to start focusing on the positives.
HERE ARE 10 HABITS OF UNHAPPY PEOPLE, ALL OF WHICH CAN BE AVOIDED.
1. CHRONIC COMPLAINING
Happy and successful people do not complain much. On the other side, it seems that chronic complainers always have something negative to say… even when those around them are happy! The bottom line: we all have different circumstances that we are given in this lifetime, but in the end these circumstances are ours – fair or unfair, wanted or unwanted. Instead, seek solutions to problems instead of complaining, which leads to nowhere.
2. HOLDING GRUDGES
Holding a grudge is like carrying around a weight. It’s always there, even if you’ve pushed it to the back of your mind. Carrying a grudge won’t allow you to be truly happy. While it can be extremely difficult to move on when someone hurts or betrays you, try not to let your bad experience affect your future. Let go of the grudge you’ve been holding. You’ll feel lighter and happier.
3. BEING CRITICAL
True self-love can take years to develop, but without it, we can’t be truly happy. Realizing your self-worth contributes greatly to your happiness. It allows you to be more confident and comfortable in your own skin. That confidence radiates to others. In the same way, being overly critical of others says more about you than it does about them. Someone who is constantly criticizing others isn’t truly happy with themselves. It’s important to respect that everyone is different, and that’s perfectly OK.
4. LIVING BEYOND MEANS
We live in a materialistic society, one where we are constantly bombarded with advertisements for the latest car, gadget, or credit card; all promising an easier, more fulfilling existence. Don’t believe it for a second. While purchasing a new product may provide a needed emotional boost, it doesn’t last. Ever heard the term “buyer’s remorse”? It exists for a reason. Instead, seek out something to do that doesn’t involve whipping out a piece of plastic – exercise, reading, sightseeing, etc. – anything brings satisfaction without the debt.
5. NEGATIVE ADDICTIONS
Unhappy people often look for an outlet to help them forget about their anger or sorrows. Depending on alcohol, drugs, gambling or other vices to cover up how you’re really feeling will only bring you down further. Try to instead find a positive outlet. Painting, writing, music… find a way to express yourself that won’t cause you any harm.
6. REGRETTING THE PAST
Research shows that repetitive negative thoughts about decisions made in the past can lead to chronic stress and depression. We all wish we had done or said something different from time to time, but the past is the past. Obsessing over a mistake won’t change what happened, it will only hinder your future. Learn from your mistakes, decide what you would do in the future if the situation occurred again, and let it go.
7. WORRYING ABOUT THE FUTURE
Saving money or having goals and plans for the future is one thing, but a life full of constant worry about what may or may not happen can only hold you back from being happy. The future can be scary, but have enough faith in yourself to know that you can handle a situation when it arises. Work hard, be kind, aim high, and the rest will follow.
8. BEING DRIVEN BY FEAR
Yes, fear can be an enabler to unhappiness. To fully understand this, we have to again go back to being present. Quite simply, we can’t allow fear of the unknown (and/or the unavoidable) to cripple our quality of life. Fear is a negative thought process that is often on auto pilot. Remember: we are not our negative thoughts. We are not fear, worry, anxiety, or any other negative thought process.
Someone who gossips exudes insecurity and unhappiness. When someone isn’t satisfied with their own life, they instead focus on the lives of others, trying to find the most negative things to say about people, to make themselves feel better. A happy and confident person has no use for gossip. If you are truly happy, you’re focusing on all of the positive things in your own life, instead of trying to bring others down.
10. EXPANDING OUR PROBLEMS
When a not-so-great situation arises, an unhappy person will almost always make it worse. They tend to overreact, blow things out of proportion and see things negatively instead of finding a way to fix what went wrong. We all encounter things we’d rather not deal with. The difference between a happy person and an unhappy person is how they handle a tough situation. Take a step back and a deep breath, and search for a solution!